Single Rep?

I'm the single rep for my ward.  I am a co-single rep for our ward.  Recently, I taped a survey to the doors of every single adult 31 and up, listed in our ward. Not fun, it was so cold and slippery that night.  With the survey, was a stamped and addressed envelope to me so that all they had to do was check the boxes and put it in the envelope and send it to me.  Three people responded.  I was so disappointed.  I had a line that read, 'if you don't want to participate, check this box and basically, we'll just leave you alone.'  That's all they had to do - was make a check mark.
So if they didn't bother to do that, what does it mean?  I would never be so rude.  Where is the love?
Ha!  Well, there's no sense in reading too much into that, except I think it is pretty clear, there is no interest.  That's okay...

So at our last meeting with the High Councilman and member of the Stake Presidency, I came home feeling so discouraged.  We all sit there with little to say, no one really wants to do much.  Honestly, I don't either.  Everyone is busy and it doesn't seem worth the effort.  I was hoping to make some single friends through this calling.  There are so few that come, there isn't a lot of chance of that happening.  I'm the oldest in the group.

They are having a regional dinner and dance for Valentine's Day.  I want to vomit.  I volunteered to make a pot of noodles for the dinner.  There were only 4 of us present and they needed that many pots. I get it now.  I am a rep so that they have someone to assign stuff to.  My sole purpose in life is to serve. A bit of sarcasm there, sorry, but sometimes it just gets to me because I don't feel any blessings because I'm serving.  I suppose my eyesight is messed up and I know my attitude needs to change.  Oh, I know I am blessed, but in these kind of things?  Not so much.

So if I'm contributing to the dinner do I still have to pay $5 ?  Just the thought of going there by myself and sitting by myself or with a group of strangers and then most likely being a wall flower at the dance, horrifies me.  Why do they continue to do the same things over and over?  Who really likes this stuff?  How does this help any of us?

So now I have to figure out how to drop off a pot of noodles, keep them warm enough, and not let them turn to mush, and stick to each other in a disposable pot and get the heck out of there!  I cannot make myself go to something like that.  It would be kind of fun if I had a date though.  Fat chance that will ever happen!!!  Unless you are a skinny beautiful model type or someone that is oblivious to the world, these affairs are not likely to turn out very well.

I'm not a head turner.  Lately, I've been eating a lot.  I still managed to lose a few pounds because over Christmas I was eating a lot, LOT!  I've cut out sugar, but still have a need for the nibbles.  My weight is up and my self esteem is down.  So I've got it all stacked against me right now.  Then I think, who cares?  I'm never going to marry again anyway.  Then I think...I had better start caring because I need to take care of me.  Regardless what happens in the future to my marital status, I want to be healthy.

So, I'm looking ahead to Valentine's Day with real dread and the dinner and dance?  Argh and Yuck!