I'm going through some stuff right now. I was just brushing my teeth and it came bearing down on me...I am so alone. I have a wonderful family. They are truly so wonderful. And I know that one can be so alone even when you are married. I know what that feels like. But as I go through these little struggles of mine I wish I had a hand to hold, a warm and strong body to snuggle with just to take the edge off of life for a moment or two.
I have no one to share my feelings with that really wants to hear it. No one that is truly glad to see me when I come home. When I talk about my day, they politely listen but they would rather not have to. I see it in their eyes.
I pray and pray. I study and I ponder and think. I know the Lord is there, but I can't feel Him. I can't get close enough to fill the emptiness. I know it is my fault and not my God's which only adds to the feelings of loss, failure and aloneness.
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