Being single is like being on a roller coaster. I have so many ups and downs. Well, maybe not SO many ups. But one minute I'm saying I can do this and the next moment I am missing someone so much, it hurts!
I suffer for the most part in silence, because honestly, who wants to hear me whine and bemoan my lot? But I'm not fooling anyone. They know. I'm sorry that they know. I don't want them to know.
It is my fault after all. If I would just get out there, I'd find someone or if I were more beautiful, smart, skinny, faithful, righteous... Yeah, no one can go through the lists of why I'm not married or with someone, better than me.
Oh how I long to let go and be happy. I try. I pray for it. I do everything I can think of. Right now I just want to put my head on someone's shoulder and have them rub my head and tell me it will be alright. I ache for that. Oh crap, I'll never have that. Durn life anyway!!!
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